To my Husband,

I remember a moment when things got rough in the NICU.

It was clear we most likely wouldn’t be bringing our boy home. You grabbed my hand and told me this would be the hardest thing we’d ever have to endure together. You were right.

You told me we were strong enough to make it. You were right.

Life is hard. No one gets through it unscathed. While I never imagined this would be a part of our story, I wouldn’t choose anyone else to do life with- the good, the bad, the ugly, the downright horrific.

Thank you for being you, love of my life, my baby daddy, and my best friend. I love you, Randy!

hi, it’s me.

If you’re new here, you’ll quickly learn that I’m not one for selfies. I tend to feel more comfortable on the other side of the camera, unless I’m in a photo with my kids.

My husband took this photo of me yesterday and I felt that I should show my face today, so you can get a better picture of the mama behind the words.

Every day, I write to my boy, about my boy and all about my thoughts and feelings as I openly mourn. You’ll hear a lot about my jouney through grief, while I navigate the loss of one who I cannot bear to live without.

If you’re another grieving mama, I hope you’ll feel safe here with me. I started sharing as an outlet for my grief, as well as a way to connect with other grieving moms and their families. And at some point, I turned into a bit of an advocate mama, once I realized how much Sterling’s life (and our experiences) could help others in the long run. If I had only met another UCD mama before Sterling was born…

I appreciate you for being here. I am honored that you’re along for the ride and quite frankly, blown away that anyone wants to stick around and hear what I have to say.

For now, all I have to say is thank you!