Your First Bath

Not exactly how I always pictured it would be, but I’ll take it.

You were so swollen because your poor, little kidneys weren’t doing well. And then somehow, something in you started healing because you started peeing. You peed all over your nurse. It was so funny.

This is one of the most bittersweet photos I have in my camera roll. Some days, I see this and it cracks me up. Other days, it kills me.

I remember how much hope we had in this moment and how it all came crashing down a few hours later when we learned you were in a coma. It just depends on how I see the world that day.

Today, its a good day or at least, this moment is a good moment. I wish you were here so I could give you a proper bath, but I’m happy I had the chance to bathe you at all.

I love you, darling Sterling.

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